Spooky Hierophant

I just wanted to take a second to post my entry for Lisa's Spooky Hierophant Halloween Competition.  I doctored the Hierophant from Tarot of the Magical Forest using Picmonkey.com.

Spooky Hierophant - Tarot of the Magical Forest (with edits made at picmonkey.com)

This was fun!  You can see the other entries on Lisa's Facebook page. Here's the link!

Important Stuff

Five of Wands - Tarot of the Magical Forest

In the Rider Waite version of the Five of Wands there are five men holding wands up, appearing to be fighting.  They are all wearing different colors, but in the Tarot of the Magical Forest all of the frogs are wearing the same red cape, which gives me the feeling that they are on the same team, or perhaps are even the same frog.  The same frog fighting against himself.

Over the weekend I was so excited about my goals because I had a vision, and I was sure I knew the steps to take to accomplish them.  Today, I feel scattered.  There are so many things I want to accomplish that I don't know where to begin.  It all makes me feel a little tired.  That kind of tension makes me want to run and hide and deal with it all another day.

I need to narrow my focus.  Pick one goal at a time as the primary focus of my attention and energy.  That's easier said than done for a woman with a family to care for with the holidays looming, but as important as those things are, my personal goals are more important because they are life to me.  Without them I will wither and die.  Does that sound dramatic?  Well, yeah, it's stated dramatically because it really is that crucial that I not continue to push my hopes and dreams out of the way to make room for all of that "important" stuff. 

Okay, decision made.  I know where I'll focus today, and the truth is, I'll still have time for that "important" stuff.

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” 
~Alexander Graham Bell 

The How

Today, I drew the High Priestess.

The High Priestess - Tarot of the Magical Forest

I spent a lot of time today excited about new ideas, or rather old ideas that suddenly seem possible for me to put into practice.  I've decided to visualize what I want and to believe the way has already been made for me to get it.  What I don't know is how that will happen, but today, in this moment the how is not important.  The how is taken care of by God/The Universe/The Divine, whatever name you want to give to that force that creates miracles in and around us every day, whether we acknowledge them or not.

I think maybe the how is represented by The High Priestess.  The Magician is my vision, and The Empress will bring my vision to fruition, but in between lies The High Priestess.  It's a delicious mystery.

Yesterday I wrote about my prayer, where I asked God to "flip a switch," and make me different, and I felt I received an answer that the switch has been flipped, and I just need to wait and see the results.  Well, today I tuned into Hay House Radio, and the name of the program that just happened to be playing was "Flipping the Switch - Release That Extra Weight Using Belief Repatterning!"

Well, butter my butt, and call me a biscuit, if that wasn't a sign from the Divine! (Sorry, I've been wanting to use that phrase since I first heard it.)

So, my mind is full of new hope and possibilities, and I'm just waiting to see what the how will be.

We can't have full knowledge all at once. We must start by believing; then afterwards we may be led on to master the evidence for ourselves.
~Thomas Aquinas

Living Fearlessly for Weight Loss

I found a spread at Tarot Quest that I decided to give a try.  I've been feeling stuck in my weight loss efforts, and it is extremely frustrating because I've been working hard at it over the last couple of months without seeing any results.  This reading got to the deeper issue, which I must say, was not a surprise.  I've just been tackling the issue as if it were solely a physical one and ignoring the real issue even though I know that carrying extra weight is just a symptom of something inside that needs healing.

The Spread:

****** 7 ******
****** 6 ******
*** 4 **** 5 ***
****** 3 ******
****** 2 ******
****** 1 ******
CARD ONE: The Root cause of my issue.
CARD TWO: Why am I faced with such an issue within my life?
CARD THREE: What can I do to heal it?
CARD FOUR: What’s helping me heal it?
CARD FIVE: What’s the major obstacle in my path of healing?
CARD SIX: Advice and Guidance.
CARD SEVEN: The Result of my healing journey.

Using The Joie De Vivre Tarot I drew:

1: Ace of Coins
2. The Hermit
3. Ace of Cups
4. Eight of Cups
5. Death
6. The Wheel
7. Page of Swords

The root cause of my weight gain is that I don't feel safe.  I worry about how to pay for the things we need every day.  I worry about my health.  I don't trust that all is working for my best.  I have doubts about eternity and God and that there is any purpose to this life.  My root cause is fear and insecurity.

I'm faced with this issue so I can learn and help others.  Ultimately, these weight issues will draw me toward the inner wisdom I possess.  It will bring me face to face with God, with love itself.  This is not a physical battle.  It is a spiritual fight that is manifesting physically.










To heal this, I need to let my heart be wide open.  I need to trust, forgive and love.  I am so guarded, and I can't remember exactly when that happened, but it's time to let my defenses down and let people in again.  And maybe not just people, but love.

I am seeking answers, and that is helping me right now.  This spiritual quest is important and I'm on the right track there, but I need to let go even more.  I need to stop fearing the fundamental change that is necessary to heal.  Again, I need to let go of fear and embrace transformational love. 

I think the wheel is just echoing what I've already said.  Trust the divine order of things.  Everything is already working for my best.  Trust.  There are forces at work that I do not control.  Surrender.

The page of swords represents the beginning of my healing.  It is me moving out of depression, away from fear, and gaining new confidence.   

At first I was disappointed that I didn't see something like The Sun or The World as the outcome card, but after thinking about it, I think that page of swords is perfect.  My goal here is not to be able to say, "I've arrived," or to experience some kind of completion.  My real goal, as illuminated by this reading, is to live fearlessly.  I've been wanting that for a long time.  The page here looks fearless and joyful.  He still has a lot to learn, but he is doing so with confidence, and he is enjoying the journey.  That is my real goal.



When I was out walking today I did a lot of thinking about this reading.  I did some praying too.  I told God that I didn't know how to trust, and I didn't know how to let go of my fears, insecurities, and past hurts.  I told him or her that my bottom line was I wanted to be changed.  I wanted a switch to be flipped that would make me a different person.  

The answer I received was that the switch has already been flipped, and now I just need to be patient and trust while the change that has already occurred unfolds.  I can just be.  That doesn't mean I should stop taking my walks or that I should stop trying to eat healthfully.  Those things are part of the change that has already taken place.  I won't wake up in a different body tomorrow.  I won't even wake up suddenly thinking or feeling differently, but I am on the way.  I am learning to trust.  I am learning to live a life without fear, just like that Page of Swords.

 

Treading Water

Yesterday I drew the Four of Wands.  This card didn't reflect how I was feeling at all.

Four of Wands - Tarot of the Magical Forest

I suppose it could be telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself and remember that I really am blessed.  I have a beautiful family, a comfortable home, my health and good friends.

The thing is, I'm feeling a little hopeless, as I am prone to feeling from time to time.  I've been working diligently, and yet feel that I am as far away from accomplishing my goals as I ever was.  I feel like I'm in the middle of an ocean, treading water with no shore in sight.  It's only a matter of time before I run out of energy and sink to the bottom of the deep blue sea...

In fact, today's card is a very good representation of how I've been feeling.

Five of Chalices - Tarot of the Magical Forest

When I see this card, I always hear myself sighing, "Woe is me.  Poor, poor me," and yet, this card reminds me that while I'm focused on those three empty cups, I'm ignoring the two full cups in the foreground.  Those two cups could very well be my salvation, filled with hope.

Today I remembered the readings I've done for myself in the recent past.  The ones where the Hanged Man showed up, letting me know that there would be a period of time where I would feel like I wasn't getting anywhere.  "Hang in there, baby!" he seemed to be saying.  So, I'm trying to be patient.  I have no plan other than to keep treading water for as long as I can, to hang in there until something starts to improve.  It's better than sinking.

Queen for the Day

Look at that! I drew another queen today.

Queen of Chalices - Tarot of the Magical Forest

It seems appropriate because today was my birthday, and my family made me Queen for the day.  They cleaned up, made dinner, and baked me a delicious lemon cake from scratch.

Queen of the Lovelies

Today I drew the Queen of Pentacles.

Queen of Pentacles - Tarot of the Magical Forest

In the past when I've drawn this card, I've read it as an encouragement to love and take care of myself.  I didn't immediately get that vibe when I pulled it, so I thought I'd just look for ways to incorporate the energy of this card into my day.  I did a little cleaning here and there, and I found it a pleasure because I had already whipped the house into shape earlier in the week in anticipation of guests coming over.  It's always easier to keep a clean house clean than it is to work in a messy house.  Well, no duh, huh?

The thing about this particular Queen of Pentacles is she looks really tired to me.  Yeah, that can be the downside of being the Queen of Pentacles.  She's so busy tending to everyone else, making the house cozy, balancing the checkbook, reading to the kiddies, but if she isn't careful all of that care-giving can really take a toll.

So, this tired Queen still serves as a reminder to take care of myself so I can continue to be there to take care of my lovelies. 

Onward!

Knave of Swords -
Tarot of the Magical Forest

How interesting that today I drew the Knave of Swords, which comes right after the card I drew yesterday.  Yesterday I was replaying last weekend's events over and over in my mind, but today I've moved forward and have made a solid decision about the situation.  However, I'm still feeling unsure.


This knave is moving forward but still looks backward pensively.  The sky around him is dark and foreboding. Maybe a storm is approaching.

I don't know how to tell my friends that I won't be showing up at our favorite gathering place anymore.  I see some of them in other places.  We get together at each others' houses for parties and stuff like that, but some of them I never see anywhere but there.  I'm afraid I'll lose touch.  I'm afraid my friends will try to talk me out of my decision, so I want to avoid the conversation completely, but if I'm being honest, I've been thinking I needed a break from spending time at this place for quite a while now, even before the shock of this past weekend.  I've been going less and less frequently, unable to completely let go.

Yes, this card portrays my feelings perfectly, but I want to look a little deeper for advice.  I'd say that it's telling me to do what I know I need to do even though I have reservations.  I don't know what the road ahead looks like, but I need to just keep taking the next step.

I don't know what I'll tell my friends, but I know what I have to do.

New Deck - New Day

A new deck arrived in the mail for me today.  I bought it for my birthday.  It's the Tarot of Magical Forest tarot deck, and I'm enchanted with it.  I'll be drawing a card a day from it for a while while we get acquainted.

Ten of Swords - Tarot of the Magical Forest

For my first draw from this deck I wish I had chosen a more pleasant card, but I can see how this card may be appropriate for me today.  The cat in this card looks like he has been through quite a battle, and those wide open eyes make me think that, although the battle is over, he is replaying the battle over and over in his mind.

I've been thinking all week about what happened Saturday night.  I've talked to my husband about it.  I've talked to my son about it because he is the one who picked me up, and I've decided I am not crazy, and I'm not to blame for what happened.  It's time to stop thinking about it and move on.

When I looked through this deck, there was one card that immediately became my favorite.

Strength - Tarot of the Magical Forest

This strength card just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.  I could almost cry it's so sweet.  So, I'm going to channel the energy of this card today, because after the difficult week I've had it feels like a warm embrace.

I Wish I Didn't Think What I'm Thinking.

Something strange happened to me this weekend, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.  I went out Saturday night, which I wrote about in my last post, and I drank the same thing I always drink in the same quantity I always drink it, but I got wasted!  I know what I drank.  My bar  tab confirmed it, but by the end of the night I was having trouble talking and walking.  I passed out when I got home.  I got home safely and didn't come to any harm.  My friends were all there, and my son came and got me, but still.  I'm really shaken by it.

Apparently, the same thing has happened recently to a couple of other people at this bar, but when my friends were telling me about it, they were suspecting that a person who was recently fired was possibly drugging people's drinks.  That person was not there Saturday night, and yet, I experienced what a couple of my other friends said they experienced, and there is no answer for it.

I pulled three cards asking, "What happened to me Saturday night, and what should I do about it?"

The Lovers, The Devil, Nine of Swords - The Joie De Vivre Tarot

That devil in the middle is very striking to me.  Is that puppet he's controlling me?  Are these cards saying that I was not in control of the situation, because that is exactly how I feel?  I was not in control.  Or is the devil simply representing the fact that I did drink too much even though I know that I was careful?

The Nine of Swords represents how I'm feeling.  I feel anxious.  I'm suspicious, but am I being paranoid or are my suspicions justified?  I think this card is also telling me that I'm worrying too much about this.  I've been thinking about it nonstop since Sunday morning, to the point that I've feeling physically ill and unable to concentrate on other things.

The Lovers card is telling me to trust myself.  It may also be indicating that I have a decision to make, and that it is important I choose the right path.

I do feel like I'm being paranoid, and yet, I know what I know.  Even at the time, I kept telling my friends, "I'm really drunk, and I haven't had that much to drink."

They smiled and patted me on the back as if to say, "Oh Sidda, silly girl, it's okay to lose control once in a while," and if it were simply a case of me drinking too much I would agree that's it's not a big deal, but I feel like control was taken away from me against my will.

This reading brings some clarity.  I still don't know what happened exactly, but I think I'll trust my instincts and stay away from this bar for a while.  I'm feeling uncomfortable and anxious for a reason.  I need to listen to those feelings. Truth be told, it's probably for the best.  Maybe something will come to light and someone will figure out why this keeps happening to people. Even now, I'm still having trouble believing this happened.  I'm still tempted to blow it off as nothing or a fluke.  I think that would be a mistake, though.

I don't think I need to worry anymore about this, but I do think I need to make a smart decision about how to proceed in the future.

Girls' Night Out

I'm meeting my best girlfriends tonight.  It seems like it's been a long time since we got together.  We used to go out every weekend, usually both Friday and  Saturday night.  We had some serious fun together and have been through some serious tough stuff together too.

I pulled three cards today asking to be told a story about tonight.

Ten of Coins, Six of Cups, The Chariot - The Joie De Vivre Tarot

I think I will be very happy that I got the chance to see my friends tonight.  The Ten of Coins tells me I will be very aware of how blessed I am, and out of my abundance I will be giving back.  There will be a real balance of giving and receiving tonight.

The Six of Cups reflects how I feel about our friendship.  Things have changed.  We don't see each other as often as we used to, and even when we do it's not quite the same, which isn't a bad thing, but I do miss the dynamic we used to enjoy. 

Perhaps we'll all reminisce tonight and remember all of the good times and difficult times we've weathered together, but the Chariot seems to be telling me that going back is not an option.  We're all moving forward on our paths, and our relationship has to adapt to the changes in our individual lives, but I just noticed the word, "trust," on the Six of Cups in the middle of the spread, and I think instead of worrying about how our relationships will evolve, I'll just trust that what is best for all of us is what will be.  In the meantime, I'm going to embrace my friends tonight and bask in the love they bring to my life.

Control Your Destiny

The first thing that came to me when I saw the cards I pulled for my daily spread is that I can expect to experience mood swings because of where I am in my lady cycle.

Queen of Swords, Queen of Cups, The Wheel - The Joie De Vivre Tarot

That's certainly been true of my day already, and it's not even noon.  I didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm feeling low on energy, and earlier while I was reading my book I started crying.  Usually, if a book is going to make me cry, it's at the end, but this was  right smack dab in the middle of it.  True, it was a poignant moment, but still,...unusual for me.

I'm not sure what advice these cards might have for me.  Those two queens are so different from each other, and yet, I can see myself in each of them.  The look on the Queen of Swords' face is priceless, and if you asked my kids, I'll bet they'd say they've seen the same look on mine when they've done something that doesn't make me happy.  Still, if one of them has a problem or is worried about something, I'm the first person they run to because I almost always can understand what they are feeling.  They know I will listen without judging and offer comfort or advice.  Moms are good like that.

The Wheel of Fortune has meant hormonal cycles in readings I've done before, but I think maybe today it's also a reminder that I decide how to react to the circumstances in which I find myself, whether it's with the Queen of Swords' clear vision and intellect or the Queen of Cups' empathy and intuition.  The decisions I make will always affect the outcome. I have a lot of control over how my life goes, and if at any point during the day, I don't like how things are going I can change course.

edit:  Actually, I remembered incorrectly.  It's The Moon that I've had come up referring to menstrual cycles before, but the Wheel as cycles in general.  I think the advice is still sound, though.

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain."

~ William Jennings Bryan