Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I Wish I Didn't Think What I'm Thinking.

Something strange happened to me this weekend, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.  I went out Saturday night, which I wrote about in my last post, and I drank the same thing I always drink in the same quantity I always drink it, but I got wasted!  I know what I drank.  My bar  tab confirmed it, but by the end of the night I was having trouble talking and walking.  I passed out when I got home.  I got home safely and didn't come to any harm.  My friends were all there, and my son came and got me, but still.  I'm really shaken by it.

Apparently, the same thing has happened recently to a couple of other people at this bar, but when my friends were telling me about it, they were suspecting that a person who was recently fired was possibly drugging people's drinks.  That person was not there Saturday night, and yet, I experienced what a couple of my other friends said they experienced, and there is no answer for it.

I pulled three cards asking, "What happened to me Saturday night, and what should I do about it?"

The Lovers, The Devil, Nine of Swords - The Joie De Vivre Tarot

That devil in the middle is very striking to me.  Is that puppet he's controlling me?  Are these cards saying that I was not in control of the situation, because that is exactly how I feel?  I was not in control.  Or is the devil simply representing the fact that I did drink too much even though I know that I was careful?

The Nine of Swords represents how I'm feeling.  I feel anxious.  I'm suspicious, but am I being paranoid or are my suspicions justified?  I think this card is also telling me that I'm worrying too much about this.  I've been thinking about it nonstop since Sunday morning, to the point that I've feeling physically ill and unable to concentrate on other things.

The Lovers card is telling me to trust myself.  It may also be indicating that I have a decision to make, and that it is important I choose the right path.

I do feel like I'm being paranoid, and yet, I know what I know.  Even at the time, I kept telling my friends, "I'm really drunk, and I haven't had that much to drink."

They smiled and patted me on the back as if to say, "Oh Sidda, silly girl, it's okay to lose control once in a while," and if it were simply a case of me drinking too much I would agree that's it's not a big deal, but I feel like control was taken away from me against my will.

This reading brings some clarity.  I still don't know what happened exactly, but I think I'll trust my instincts and stay away from this bar for a while.  I'm feeling uncomfortable and anxious for a reason.  I need to listen to those feelings. Truth be told, it's probably for the best.  Maybe something will come to light and someone will figure out why this keeps happening to people. Even now, I'm still having trouble believing this happened.  I'm still tempted to blow it off as nothing or a fluke.  I think that would be a mistake, though.

I don't think I need to worry anymore about this, but I do think I need to make a smart decision about how to proceed in the future.

post signature


  1. I hate the feeling of losing control, and am teetotal (though I lose control in other areas). Still, what I'm trying to say is that something like that would really freak me out, too. Your decision to avoid that bar and see if anything comes out to clear this up sounds very sensible. Good luck, and big hugs,

  2. Wow--that sounds scary!

    I would also avoid the bar, and maybe report it. But I understand why you'd hesitate to do that, without evidence, etc.

    Anyway, take care of yourself, and yes...try not to worry because that just lessens your vitality, and you don't need that!

    I am brain dead but I forgot it was your birthday? Happy birthday!


    1. It's not my birthday for a couple of days yet. (the 14th) The cards came earlier than I expected. Ha! But yeah, I don't think I can report it. It would sound like a crazy accusation at this point. I still have trouble believing it, myself. I keep looking for some other explanation, but in the end, I can't think of any.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...