Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Living Fearlessly for Weight Loss

I found a spread at Tarot Quest that I decided to give a try.  I've been feeling stuck in my weight loss efforts, and it is extremely frustrating because I've been working hard at it over the last couple of months without seeing any results.  This reading got to the deeper issue, which I must say, was not a surprise.  I've just been tackling the issue as if it were solely a physical one and ignoring the real issue even though I know that carrying extra weight is just a symptom of something inside that needs healing.

The Spread:

****** 7 ******

****** 6 ******
*** 4 **** 5 ***
****** 3 ******
****** 2 ******
****** 1 ******
CARD ONE: The Root cause of my issue.
CARD TWO: Why am I faced with such an issue within my life?
CARD THREE: What can I do to heal it?
CARD FOUR: What’s helping me heal it?
CARD FIVE: What’s the major obstacle in my path of healing?
CARD SIX: Advice and Guidance.
CARD SEVEN: The Result of my healing journey.

Using The Joie De Vivre Tarot I drew:

1: Ace of Coins

2. The Hermit
3. Ace of Cups
4. Eight of Cups
5. Death
6. The Wheel
7. Page of Swords

The root cause of my weight gain is that I don't feel safe.  I worry about how to pay for the things we need every day.  I worry about my health.  I don't trust that all is working for my best.  I have doubts about eternity and God and that there is any purpose to this life.  My root cause is fear and insecurity.

I'm faced with this issue so I can learn and help others.  Ultimately, these weight issues will draw me toward the inner wisdom I possess.  It will bring me face to face with God, with love itself.  This is not a physical battle.  It is a spiritual fight that is manifesting physically.

To heal this, I need to let my heart be wide open.  I need to trust, forgive and love.  I am so guarded, and I can't remember exactly when that happened, but it's time to let my defenses down and let people in again.  And maybe not just people, but love.

I am seeking answers, and that is helping me right now.  This spiritual quest is important and I'm on the right track there, but I need to let go even more.  I need to stop fearing the fundamental change that is necessary to heal.  Again, I need to let go of fear and embrace transformational love. 

I think the wheel is just echoing what I've already said.  Trust the divine order of things.  Everything is already working for my best.  Trust.  There are forces at work that I do not control.  Surrender.

The page of swords represents the beginning of my healing.  It is me moving out of depression, away from fear, and gaining new confidence.   

At first I was disappointed that I didn't see something like The Sun or The World as the outcome card, but after thinking about it, I think that page of swords is perfect.  My goal here is not to be able to say, "I've arrived," or to experience some kind of completion.  My real goal, as illuminated by this reading, is to live fearlessly.  I've been wanting that for a long time.  The page here looks fearless and joyful.  He still has a lot to learn, but he is doing so with confidence, and he is enjoying the journey.  That is my real goal.

When I was out walking today I did a lot of thinking about this reading.  I did some praying too.  I told God that I didn't know how to trust, and I didn't know how to let go of my fears, insecurities, and past hurts.  I told him or her that my bottom line was I wanted to be changed.  I wanted a switch to be flipped that would make me a different person.  

The answer I received was that the switch has already been flipped, and now I just need to be patient and trust while the change that has already occurred unfolds.  I can just be.  That doesn't mean I should stop taking my walks or that I should stop trying to eat healthfully.  Those things are part of the change that has already taken place.  I won't wake up in a different body tomorrow.  I won't even wake up suddenly thinking or feeling differently, but I am on the way.  I am learning to trust.  I am learning to live a life without fear, just like that Page of Swords.

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  1. Hi Siddaleah. I enjoyed your reading. I, too, struggled with weight for many years before I finally lost it. At my highest I weighed 213 lbs. After my loss at my lowest, I was 131 lbs. At 5'7", that was a little thin. I now weigh 149 and I want to get back to 134, where I was happiest. But still , 149 is nowhere near 213!

    Anyway, I'd like to add a few thoughts on your cards.

    Hermit - It's all got to come from inside you. Seeing your weight loss as a service to others or guidance from God is not going to get you to the weight you want. It has to come from that little lantern inside yourself. For yourself. Not for others or for the glory of God. It's okay for it to be from you, for you, and about you. (((hug)))

    8 of Cups + Death -- This a definite end to old habits and ways of thinking, and heading down a new and unknown path. This is your new lifestyle and your new pattern of thinking. Death is the end that must come before transformation, it is not the transformation itself. So, what have you put an end to? What do you need to put an end to? What new path are you taking? :)

    Wheel -- With weight loss, we know how it could go either way, don't we! As you said, you have to do the right thing and trust that it will work for you. Unless you have some sort of hormonal issues, lower calories and higher activity will lead to weight loss. That is for sure, no doubts.

    Page of Swords-- You know what, I see something else here. When you are fresh on the other side of your weight loss, there is a tendency to be very evangelical. The Page of Swords can be a bit of a know-it-all, likes to argue. You might find yourself saying to people, 'Oh yes, you can lose weight, I did it and you can, too.' You might not believe it now, but it could happen. It's not necessarily a bad thing, in fact I think it's just part of the process of successful long-term weight loss.

    I hope my thoughts do not offend, they are offered in good spirit. xx

    1. They don't offend at all! Thank you for sharing them. I think you're right. As far as getting on the other side of weight loss and becoming evangelical about it, I'd say you're right, except that in my case, I've been on the other side of weight loss and gradually gained it ALL back, so I know what an individual battle it is for everyone. 6 years ago, I lost 50 pounds and felt great! It took 5 years, but I gained every pound back. :-P So, yeah, that would be the downside of the page of swords, but learning to let go of fear really resonates with me, so it may be wishful thinking, but I hope that is where I'll find myself on this journey.

    2. Oh, and I wasn't clear, but when I said "help others" I didn't mean necessarily that I thought I should lose weight for others or that after I do I could help others do the same. I was thinking more generally. That is, as I become happier, more grounded, I'm able to give more back, and that I can share the lessons I've learned, on a spiritual level, with others who are struggling to let go of fear and learn to love themselves and others.

      But I appreciate you saying that doing it for myself is okay. :-)

    3. Cool. I lost 70ish lbs 8 years ago. In the last 2 years I've gained back about 14 lbs. But I am nearly 46... In fact I went to the doctor today to have blood drawn to check for an underactive thyroid. (We won't say anything about the chocolates I have eaten and the role they may have played!)

      I'm glad I've found your blog. It's really pretty, may I say!


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