Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Recently I needed to end a friendship, and I'm still spending so much of my time thinking about it, even though I know it was the right decision.  I decided to pull some cards for some insight, and chose to use a spread I found at Biddy Tarot.

Release and Let Go

1. What am I feeling right now?
2. Why am I feeling it so strong?
3. How can I release this feeling?
4. What is the feeling transforming into?
5. How can I rise above?
6. What is my new beginning?
7. What have I learned?

Joie De Vivre Tarot

The Five of Swords speaks to the sense of loss that I am feeling, and the tension, hostility and conflict which ultimately led to my decision in the first place.  Although I know that moving on was necessary those feelings linger still.

Why am I feeling it so strongly?  Death.  Well, because it was a huge and transformational change, Sweetheart.  You can't expect to end a friendship of fifteen years and shrug it off like nothing happened. 

The Six of Cups tells me that I should surround myself with the people and things in my life that I love.  It's a good time to count my blessings. 

The Empress provides so much hope.  This feeling of loss and conflict will transform into a feeling of abundance (perhaps by reflecting on those blessings alluded to in the Six of Cups) and creativity.  I think I will be birthing my very self, my true self.

When I'm feeling dragged down again by these feelings, the Three of Wands tells me to remember those plans I have, and I do have many that are already underway.  I have so many wonderful things to look forward to this year.  I'm making dreams of mine come true.  I need to put my energy into my own life, and not spend anymore time lamenting what is past.

The King of Wands advises me to not sit in the planning stages of those wonderful things to come, but to use this new found energy and vision to charge ahead and make that vision a reality.

What have I learned?  The Ace of Cups.  Yeah.  I've learned to let myself feel what I feel and to trust my feelings.  Sometimes, and with some people I put my instincts on hold because I don't want to believe what they are telling me.  I've been guilty of violating myself to please someone else, and what I've learned is, violating myself is just as bad as hurting someone else.  I am the only one who can know what I feel.  I need to trust me.

It's Up to Me

I've had some recent success in losing weight, so I pulled three past/present/future cards asking, "Will I continue to be successful in this area, and will I accomplish my goal?

King of Wands, Three of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles - Shadowscapes Tarot

The King of Wands points to the high level of energy and motivation I've brought to the table recently with this new effort toward accomplishing my goals which are: 1) accepting myself unconditionally 2) losing excess weight 3) being more plugged into my life.  I've started a new eating plan, have been going to yoga classes for the first time in my life, and have finally gotten serious about being kind to myself, which has meant leaving some things behind that hinder me.

The Three of Pentacles, I believe, is speaking of the support system I've built for myself.  I have friends both far and wide online and locally who are aware of my goals and have been cheering for me and interested in hearing about my progress, or lack thereof as the case may be at times. My husband is joining me in learning to eat more healthfully, and my kids understand what I'm trying to accomplish and are helping in many ways.

My big question was, "Will I accomplish my goal?" What I really wanted to know is if I'll ever wear my skinny jeans again!  The card in the future position doesn't indicate that I won't reach my goal, nor does it indicate that I will.  Rather, it tells me to hang in there, stay focused, keep working on it.  It suggests I may have a few more things to learn and maybe I can find some wise teachers along the way.

The description of the card from the book says, "The Page of Pentacles comes bearing her message for opportunities of growth and prosperity.  It is a small spark she holds, but she is just the harbinger for potential.  Make of that spark what you will -- a mere smoldering coal or the blaze of a rising star -- but that choice and vision is something that each individual must find on their own, using skills and resources at hand."

So, I guess that means whether or not I'm successful depends on me.  Hmmm.  That could be good news or bad, and again, I suppose it depends on how I choose to look at it.  I think I'll readopt an old mantra I used a few years ago when I was facing a similar challenge, and that is:  I can't fail unless I give up.

An Epic New Moon

Considering that not only is it a new moon tonight, but a new moon and a new year, I thought there could be no more epic time for a, "Release, Embrace," spread.  I must say, I LOVE these cards.  They are so on target for where I am right now.

Eight of Swords, King of Wands - Joie De Vivre Tarot

"Stagnation, weariness, and fear," are the words that I think when I see this Eight of Swords.

Release self limiting thoughts and fears.  The ropes binding this soul have no knots and only need to be shrugged off, and the swords are just an illusion of a cage.  At any moment, she/I can be free.  I have had a host self limiting thoughts and beliefs this past year.  I don't think it's exaggerating to say I've been quite debilitated by those thoughts.

"Ride 'em, cowboy!"  That's the phrase that comes to mind when I see this King of Wands.

Embrace confidence, self acceptance, and joie de vivre!  I see this as not only advice for the new year and new moon, but as a promise that it will happen.  I'm already sensing a shift, just today, in my perception and how I look at myself, and therefore how I see the world around me.  I'm seeing this reading as confirmation that the shift I'm sensing is a real one that will continue.

The lion in this King of Wands reminds me of the Strength card, which is also a fine thing to embrace in the coming year.  Tapping into the strength I already have inside will surely lead to more confidence, less fear, and an exciting time to come.  

Finally what needs to be released from my life and from my thinking seems to be breaking lose and falling away leaving room for a more confident, joyful me.

Happy New Year to you!  I'm sending all who are reading this the same hope and light I have at this moment.

~:~:~::Mwah::~:~:~

Thanksgiving Day Blessings

I've done this "Blessings" reading before, and I thought it would be appropriate to do it again this night before Thanksgiving.  What blessings do I bring to myself?  What blessings come from family and friends?  And what blessings come from Spirit?  I added a fourth card this year asking who can I make an extra effort to bless right now?

Knight of Wands, Eight of Coins, The Sun - Joie De Vivre Tarot

I bless myself because I am always willing to try something new.  I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and make life better for myself and my family.  I sometimes act in a bit of an  ADHD manner with the way I jump from one idea to the next, but perhaps this is not a flaw, as I've told myself in the past, but a blessing. 

My friends and family can share some of the workload I give myself.  I do need to work on asking for help when I feel overwhelmed.  This card actually brings Thanksgiving to mind because we are all getting together at my sister's house, but everyone is bringing a couple of dishes so that no one person has to prepare the entire meal herself which has made the holiday relatively stress-free for me this year.

Spirit brings me life, light, love and joy!  I only need to stop and let myself receive those blessings.

Six of Swords - Joie De Vivre Tarot

I will admit I was baffled by the Six of Swords as an answer to, "Who can I bless right now?"  I see myself as the rider on the swan on a healing journey.  Could this card be telling me that by continuing on this path to healing I am, indeed, blessing others?

My inner critic pipes up loudly that this is just a selfish justification to avoid making extra efforts on the behalf of others right now, but if I'm being honest I'm still having trouble just taking care of myself and my kids every day.  Maybe this is advice to let myself get to the other side of this transition before I add more to my plate.  It seems like I should be there by now, but I'm not, and as disappointed in myself as I can be about that, I need to give myself permission to take the time I need and most importantly not abandon the journey.  Who knows who I am blessing just by healing myself?  I know my daughters are watching.  There may be other ripples like the ones shown in this card, that I can't even see.

Update:  After a rough night and morning I was reading an article about Estrogen Dominance and this quote from the end of the article jumped out at me because it seems to confirm the message I received from the Six of Swords in this reading:  "Remember, perimenopause is a time to reinvent yourself. This means investing time and energy in yourself, not everyone else."

Manifesting Goals

Last night, using my Galaxy Pro tarot app on my phone, I asked, Will I lose weight? Will it stick? Can I change my life?  Three questions for one card, and I drew The Magician.

The phrase that comes to mind whenever I pull this card is, "You make the magic happen, baby!" I looked at the card and saw the sword, which brought cutting something to mind, cutting calories?  Cutting off excess weight?  The wand in the magician's hand looked like a barbell to me, and I thought of exercise.  The disk looks like a plate and could represent eating well, the cup - drinking plenty of water, but I really like what the Galaxy App had to say:

"When you get this card in a reading, you have the potential to make things happen.  The key to having control of your life is to have a vision and then take the action to make it happen.  Intention and action are both required.  When your intentions and actions are aligned, real magic occurs!

Start gathering the resources you need to meet your goals.  The universe is empowering you to manifest your vision.  Take advantage of this opportunity by staying focused on your goals and applying your power!"

I did feel empowered after this reading and made a quick and simple plan in my head right there.  I'm following through on that plan today.

 

Full Lunar Eclipse

For tonight's full lunar eclipse I pulled three cards: What is moving into the past? What is coming into my life? And where do I need to find a better balance?

Six of Swords, Nine of Wands, Ace of Wands - Tarot of the Magical Forest

These cards could not be more frustratingly coy and generic. What I'm getting here is that I've been in the midst of a painful transition, but that is moving into the past and something new and exciting is coming in the future, in the meantime I should keep fighting the good fight.

Well, thanks for that, tarot.  I guess it's encouragement, but that moon, that sly moon. is keeping the details a secret for now.

New Moon in October

Five of Swords, Five of Wands - Joie De Vivre Tarot

I pulled a couple of cards for the new moon today.  Interesting! Two fives.

This month I should release my need to be right and let go of conflicts that could threaten my relationships with loved ones and friends.  On the other hand a little healthy competition can lead to growth, and some things are worth fighting for. In other words, I should choose my battles wisely.

Another, and perhaps the more important interpretation of these two cards, could be that I need to let go of those relationships where I am required to think and act a certain way in order to earn love and friendship, while embracing those relationships that not only are able to survive conflict and disagreements but are actually made stronger by working through those conflicts.