Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Recently I needed to end a friendship, and I'm still spending so much of my time thinking about it, even though I know it was the right decision.  I decided to pull some cards for some insight, and chose to use a spread I found at Biddy Tarot.

Release and Let Go

1. What am I feeling right now?
2. Why am I feeling it so strong?
3. How can I release this feeling?
4. What is the feeling transforming into?
5. How can I rise above?
6. What is my new beginning?
7. What have I learned?

Joie De Vivre Tarot

The Five of Swords speaks to the sense of loss that I am feeling, and the tension, hostility and conflict which ultimately led to my decision in the first place.  Although I know that moving on was necessary those feelings linger still.

Why am I feeling it so strongly?  Death.  Well, because it was a huge and transformational change, Sweetheart.  You can't expect to end a friendship of fifteen years and shrug it off like nothing happened. 

The Six of Cups tells me that I should surround myself with the people and things in my life that I love.  It's a good time to count my blessings. 

The Empress provides so much hope.  This feeling of loss and conflict will transform into a feeling of abundance (perhaps by reflecting on those blessings alluded to in the Six of Cups) and creativity.  I think I will be birthing my very self, my true self.

When I'm feeling dragged down again by these feelings, the Three of Wands tells me to remember those plans I have, and I do have many that are already underway.  I have so many wonderful things to look forward to this year.  I'm making dreams of mine come true.  I need to put my energy into my own life, and not spend anymore time lamenting what is past.

The King of Wands advises me to not sit in the planning stages of those wonderful things to come, but to use this new found energy and vision to charge ahead and make that vision a reality.

What have I learned?  The Ace of Cups.  Yeah.  I've learned to let myself feel what I feel and to trust my feelings.  Sometimes, and with some people I put my instincts on hold because I don't want to believe what they are telling me.  I've been guilty of violating myself to please someone else, and what I've learned is, violating myself is just as bad as hurting someone else.  I am the only one who can know what I feel.  I need to trust me.