I'm feeling better as far as the crud goes. I think it's mostly gone, leaving just a little coughing here and there behind. I've talked to a few people, my mom included, and four weeks seems to be the average amount of time this virus lasts. Like me, my mom said the worst part of it is how run down it leaves you feeling.
Before I got sick I had been planning to address this depression. (I'm refusing to call it MY depression anymore.) Getting sick put a wrench in my plans, but I've picked them back up and have been making some progress.
I made 5 meals for my family. That's five nights we didn't eat pizza or hot dogs! I dyed my hair. The gray had overtaken it. When I talked to my mom on the phone today she admitted it was a shock to see me and how gray my hair was last week when she was over. It made HER feel old. Ha! I used my light box twice. I took my vitamin D3 four or five days in a row. I didn't drink wine every night. In fact, I only drank it two or three nights. (Three. Always round up when I'm talking about wine or pizza.)
And this is one is a biggie. I tried on a pair of my jeans. I've been living in pajama bottoms and sweat pants since Christmas and have built up a lot of anxiety surrounding wearing real clothes. It's one of the reasons I've declined all invitations from friends and family. The jeans fit. Granted, they are my fat jeans and they were a little snug, but I hadn't completely outgrown them, as I had feared.
Oh, and that reminds me of the other thing I've done. I've accepted three. THREE. separate social invitations. Two birthday gatherings for dear friends and one girls poker night, which is this weekend. Now I just have to get myself there, which will be easier now that I've washed the gray outta my hair and realized I can wear a pair of jeans. Well, I'm wearing sweats to the girls poker party, just because I can, but it's good to know I don't have to be afraid of getting dressed to go out.
I did a reading. I'm not excited about it because nothing really clicked, but then I was pretty vague about my intentions with it. I was reading on the current state of my body, soul, and mind:
 |
Body/Soul/Mind
Two of Pentacles, The Tower, The Hierophant |
And because it didn't excite me, I'm going to gloss over my thoughts pretty quickly. I hate when The Tower shows up in readings, but as the state of my soul it's probably not inaccurate. No drama there, just not settled.
Body? I'm still trying to hang onto old habits while developing new ones, but something needs to go so I can embrace better things, healthier things.
Mind? I'm playing it safe. Thinking the same things, feeding it with the same stuff. Maybe this isn't a great time for me to learn something new anyway. I have enough to worry about with just putting into practice what I already know.
Oh, and here's a picture of me balancing old, bad habits with new:
I'm playing Guild Wars 2, which I do for way too many hours of the day, BUT I have my light box in front of me!
