Taking Control

Justice, Page of Wands, Ten of Wands - The Gilded Tarot

Justice is reminding me that the situation I'm in is a result of the choices I have made, and the choices I make now will affect me in the future.  That's not to say I'm in a bad situation.  Sure, I have challenges, but overall I have a good life.  This isn't a card of condemnation...or praise.  It's just a fact of life that the choices we make affect our lives.  We are in control of a whole lot that happens to us.

Getting very specific,...today I've been lamenting the fact that I'm not sleeping well and wondering why oh why can I not sleep.  Well, to be honest, there are a lot of bad habits I could change that might help me sleep better.

I believe the Page of Wands is me right now.  I'm taking baby steps toward changing some of those bad habits.  I'm trying to change my whole life, really.  I want to be healthier and more plugged into my life, and I have begun the process of change, but the Ten of Wands is warning me that along the way I will feel burdened.  I may feel that it's all too hard and be tempted to just give up. 

When I think about the fact that I have to make these changes for life, or go back to the same old situation I'm working so hard to leave behind, I do become overwhelmed, but this card is telling me to hang in there.  In time the healthy changes will become habits that I don't even think about anymore.  Naturally.

I can accomplish what I have just set out to do.  I need to remember my old mantra, "I can't fail if I don't give up." 

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
~Dale Carnegie


 

Surrender and Love

I was so inspired by my reading yesterday that I went out this morning and took a walk. It was a nice walk, and I was really proud of myself for getting moving again after being in such a slump.  I was listening to my music and enjoying the scenery when I just started bawling.  I never do that.  It was so weird.  I wasn't sad or mad.  I think I was just enjoying myself and feeling joy.

 Later I bought myself a new blouse and got a haircut, but first I drew three cards.

The Hanged Man, Queen of Coins, Page of Wands - The Joie De Vivre Tarot

I think it's interesting that two of these cards showed up for me yesterday.  They are telling me that I need to accept myself, as I am right now, while I continue to take care of myself.

I tend to withhold things from myself because I don't weigh what I want to weigh.  I don't buy myself new clothes, and I only take the most basic care of my appearance.  It's that old perfectionism again.  Why bother with jewelry, pretty clothes, or makeup when my body is so unattractive?  And then I don't go out into the world because I'm ashamed of how I look.

These cards are saying, "Enough of that!  Accept who you are right now.  Make the most of what you've been given.  Feed your body and your soul well while you patiently wait to see the changes that loving yourself, really loving yourself, will bring.  In the meantime, get out there and live life! Find joy!  You deserve all of this right now."