Thursday, March 2, 2017

Adulting is Hard

Six of Cups - Joie De Vivre Tarot
Today I pulled the six of cups, and I'm not sure how that relates to my current situation, if it relates, except that I am a bit tired of adulting.  It's funny that, "adult," has become a verb in the new millennium.  I just learned that the cost of a remodel/repair project may be more than we can afford, so now we need to either change expectations or figure out a new way to get the job done.  The subfloor of our bathroom is rotting and needs to be fixed. There may also be damage to the walls. Besides that, I would like a new toilet, bathtub and surround and vanity along with a paint job, a remodel.

If it were up to me I'd have my husband watch do-it-yourself videos and learn how to do the job and just get it done.  Notice how I said I'd have my husband do that.  If I think about actually watching and learning myself and then rolling up my sleeves and doing the work I feel completely overwhelmed, and I know this is how my husband feels too.

I got the news about the cost of the project right after waking up from a depressing dream.  I dreamed I had gained forty pounds overnight.  I kept getting back on the scale, and every time I did the number was still too high.  One time when I got on the scale I noticed a woman behind me pulling down on my clothes to add weight to the scale.  Oprah appeared in the dream and was watching me get on the scale over and over again.  I just could not accept the number that kept coming up.  I have been trying to lose weight, and the things that worked for me before are not working now.  I'm having more trouble than I ever have.  Clearly, this is bothering me a lot.

Between the expense of fixing the bathroom and my frustration with not losing weight despite being careful about my diet, I'm feeling a bit down.  The six of cups is telling me to continue to do what has worked in the past and to be honest with myself about my current situation.  There are other things I could be doing better.  I've been a lot less active lately, for example.  It sure was nice when someone else was in charge of worrying about expenses and I could eat whatever I wanted and play all day without a care in the world, but now I am the adult.   It's not easy, but it does have it's benefits as well.

“O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales.” ~ Leo Rosten

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1 comment:

  1. That's a wonderful quote, Siddaleah! Ack, don't you hate nightmares like that - surely a sign of stress. Have you tried hypnosis apps? I found the Mindifi Weight Loss recordings really helpful a few years ago. And it's not a big monetary commitment to try them :)

    Good luck figuring a different way around the bathroom question. Like you, there's no way I can imagine learning how to fix it myself and actually doing it :(


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