Foxy Queen

Queen of Pentacles - Tarot of the Magical Forest

When I draw the Queen of Pentacles for myself I always think of taking care of my family, but the queen from this deck really captures what I am feeling today when I look at her.  Doesn't she look a little tired, the way she is sort of hunched over her large coin?  The coin almost looks heavy, like she is struggling to hold onto it, or maybe I am projecting just a bit. Ha!

I looked through this journal at all of the other times the Queen of Pentacles has come up for me, and it is so interesting to look back at the patterns I create for myself.  I can also see growth in myself.  I accept myself more unconditionally now.  I notice when my self care is lacking more quickly, which is the message the Queen of Pentacles has for me today.

In the last few months I've worked hard to take care of myself by eating well, taking daily walks, working with my doctor and naturopath, addressing anemia and a hormonal imbalance with supplements and bio-identical progesterone.  I've been taking time for myself to read, listen to soul nourishing podcasts and journal.

That attention to my self care pulled me out of a major depressive episode, and I'm feeling so much better than I was three months ago, but in the last couple of weeks I've let my self care slide.  I've forgotten to take my vitamins more times than not, and it's been over a week since I took a walk.  I'm noticing less energy and it's affecting my ability to do the things around the house and for my family that I was getting done easily before.

So, thanks, you foxy but tired-looking queen, for reminding me that it's time to go back to doing what works.

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball 

Enjoying the Fruits of My Labor

Nine of Coins - Joie De Vivre Tarot

What a perfect card to pull on my budgeting/bill-paying/menu-planning/grocery-shopping day!  And now I have a full fridge and can relax and enjoy (Ha!) until  next week.

Love, Love, Love

Yesterday's card, the Queen of Coins or Pentacles,...

Queen of Coins - Joie De Vivre Tarot

was an accurate reflection of my life right now.  The picture on this card of the multi-handed Queen holding onto her heart while comforting her companion speaks to me.

I'm trying to balance caring for my family, taking care of our home, feeding everyone good food, managing our finances, being a counselor to my husband and children with taking care of myself.  It's not an easy thing to do, but one thing I have been getting better at doing is being gentle with myself when all of that caring doesn't look the way I once thought it should.

The other day I told my husband that most days all I'm managing to accomplish is taking a walk, helping my youngest with her math, and making dinner.  He gave me a hug and said, "That's a lot!"  and it is a lot because the fact that I'm getting those things done means I have systems in place that I'm taking for granted.  I'm accomplishing things that I'm not giving myself credit for.  I couldn't make dinner if I didn't have ingredients in the house or if my kitchen were a mess or if I didn't have the energy to get it done, and that involves managing our money wisely, shopping for food, planning ahead, keeping up with dishes, getting enough sleep, yada, yada, yada, and so it goes with everything else I do for myself and others.   Yesterday's card was like a little nod, a pat on the back, acknowledgement that I'm doing okay.

Ace of Cups - Joie De Vivre Tarot

Today's card is reminding me to connect with my higher self. Another way I can take care of myself is to let myself receive divine love.  It's essential for me, really, and while I'm working so hard on keeping order, if I don't let myself be still, hear the wisdom I have inside, and feel the love there, any peace I achieve through order will be fleeting.

"The ego says, 'Once everything falls into place, I'll feel peace.' The spirit says, 'Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.'" ~Marianne Williamson